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FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE DETECTED IN GUY FINKILL

An exclusion zone was in force around Guy Finkill last night in order to curb an outbreak of foot in mouth disease detected following the ORPS v Mallards friendly. Tests were being carried out to see whether it was the deadly strain of the virus, which would require the young all rounder to be humanely destroyed.

Finkill had taken part in a seemingly normal game of cricket, the disease coming to light only in the post match discussions when it was revealed that he had:

*Criticised the scoring rate of other batsmen before making a sedate 15 from 28 balls in a 15 overs a side slog;
*Volunteered to take the keeping gloves, then appealed for a stumping off a no ball;
*Failed to make any routine takes with the gloves requiring a backstop to be put in place;

Furthermore, it was noted that the number of suggestions that he should open the batting and the bowling had gone off the scale.

By 9.30 pm tests had been completed and the outbreak identified as the non-deadly 'general gobbiness' C strain of the virus. Finkill will not be put down and will be free to play in CCC's game against Seaton Burn tonight.

WEEK 12 (GAME 10): ADDERS BEAT CCC

On a rainy evening at Heaton, CCC contrived to lose yet again against an Adders side that have recently emerged as promotion candidates.

Matt pulled out of the side with a chest infection, Roger taking his place. Groundsman Paul shifted the game to the very edge of the square in view of the sharp rainfall that marred the start of the game.

CCC haven't won since their last ball victory away to Adders on 5th June, but for over half of tonight's match they looked to be in control. Having been put into bat Chris Smith marked his first appearance of the season with 40 off 18 balls. With Usman coming in at 3 and blasting a quick 26, Rian was left in the anchor role. Unfortunately Usman and Rian (17) were dismissed in successive balls and the innings faltered after that with only Ratti (15 not out) making double figures. Still, CCC would have settled for 121-6 from 12 overs.

The bowling performance followed the pattern of most recent matches. A lid was just about kept on the response for 6 overs, thanks to Rian (3-0-16-1), but thereafter the batsmen were able to pick off the runs without ever really being under pressure. Adders scored 122-2 with 10 balls to spare.

Once again the bolwing was loose, and the fielding too error prone. This time too the batsmen failed to maintain the early scoring, but 121 should be defendable from 12 overs, even with a short boundary.

Next week it's make or break time as Seaton Burn visit the Medicals.

CCC 2 Adders 8

Team: Rian, Chris, Usman, Simon E, Simon W, Ratti, Andy, David, Roger, Guy, Tim

WEEK 12 (GAME 9): BEAMISH BEAT CCC

Another week, another defeat, and yet again the same old story. The long awaited CCC v Beamish & East Stanley fixture finally took place at Heaton in sunshine last night, only the home side's second visit to their home ground this season (the last being on May 8th).

On winning the toss CCC elected to bat first on a surprisingly hard strip. Beamish were so confident they only sent 8 players. Yes, that's 8 (EIGHT). The Beamish 8 were all decent cricketers, mind, and bowled pretty well. CCC were not helped by Rian's second ball dismissal and Nick's needless run out for 25 when looking dangerous. Simon E rode his luck to score a season-best 47, and Matt (17) and Simon W (12) helped the total to 127-7 off 14 overs. Usually that would be regarded as a decent score on this ground, but was about 20 less than one would hope to get against 8 (yes, that's EIGHT) men.

Beamish's batting line up was predictably strong, even though it only numbered 7 (yes, that's SEVEN) players (one of the EIGHT didn't fancy it). However, they actually only needed four of the seven, as Ryan McVitie took time off from biscuit manufacture to blast 58 not out. He was helped by Gary Johnson (52 not out), so that Beamish won with two overs to spare. As is becoming depressingly familiar, the bowling apart from Rian was ordinary, and the fielding was poorer tonight than it has been recently.

CCC need to sharpen up considerably for the visit of Adders on Wednesday.

CCC 2 Beamish & East Stanley 8

Team: Nick, Rian, Simon E, Matt, Simon W, John, Ratti, Usman, Andy, David, Guy

WEEK 11 (GAME 8): FENHAM BEAT CCC

Shocked CCC players and officials were coming to terms last night with finally playing a game of cricket. A lovely July evening and an exscellent cricket pitch greeted them at Blue Flames. Unfortunately so did a strong opposition.

The evening started well with budding all rounder Guy breaking into the clubhouse via the scoreboard hatch, but then took a turn for the worse with Fenham winning the toss and choosing to bat first. It would have taken a total mentalist to choose to bowl first.

The Fenham innings followed the same trend as the previous fixture against this side, and indeed both games against the Fire Service: after a good start with Rian (4-0-16-2) excelling, the batsmen really took the game away from CCC in the last 6 overs. Fenham attack from the start, and the only way to control them is to take regular wickets. On this occasion it was the skipper Riaz, who after a scratchy start, hit 52. Almost two extra overs were given to Fenham through wides and no balls, which is too profligate at this level. Fenham finished on 147-5 off 14, but special credit to Guy for what in the circumstances was a tight final over.

CCC started carefully before Rian started to unleash. He was bowled for 27, and Ratti was run out soon afterwards. That left Simon E (25) and Matt (42 not out) to restart the innings and by the time they got going it was too late. CCC finished with 123-3.

Finally, Guy and Rian are in line for a special commendation this week after skilfully retrieving one of the skipper's gloves with a length of drainpipe after he kicked it in fury onto the roof of the clubhouse following his controversial last over dismissal.

The responsible umpire - Cliff - ended up in hospital... with a dislocated finger sustained in the line of bowling duties; it's now thankfully on the mend!

CCC 3 Fenham 7

Team: Rian, Ratti, Simon E, Matt, Simon W, John, Andy, David, Usman, Guy, Cliff

MONTH SWAP SCHEME CRITICISED

A public inquiry will be held into the government’s ill-fated month-swap scheme it has been announced.

What was seen as a final legacy of Tony Blair’s premiership when it was introduced back in April, the month-swap scheme - designed to harmonise weather systems across the year – has led to flooding chaos and a decimated cricket programme.

Opposition ministers and some backbenchers have criticised the move to SWAP April with June with a further option to integrate November into July. An unnamed spokesman for the Conservatives said: "the whole thing was pushed through without enough planning. The result has been a ridiculous summer."

New premier Gordon Brown has sought to distance himself from the fiasco. "Perhaps it was a little imprudent of Tony to introduce the scheme this year. It's easy enough to swap months but you have to have a plan for afterwards."

After Yorkshire was badly hit last month the month-swap scheme has led to widespread and unprecedented flooding this week across much of the Midlands and West Country - with more predicted. "The flooding came about due to April being swapped with June, and then November being swapped with July a few weeks early. This in effect meant that we got April showers mixed with November drizzle for a two week period at the end of the month formerly known as June,” said an environment spokesman. The incident has been blamed on someone else.