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And still it rains - Summer of 2007 breaks all records.
It started at the end of May and got slowly worse. By midsummer the Glastonbury Festival hippies were once again swimming in the Pilton mud - but happy.
Cricketers are not so happy. We are used to Rain up north, but not the relentless monsoon floods which have separated Lancashire from Yorkshire for much of June.
Ex Cochrane Park groundsman Rod - well known for calling games off to protect players from sunstroke, was rubbing his hands from the comfort of his golf caddy in the Algarve: "Aye, we put in 10 quids worth of new drainage and it's made no difference - cricket in Northumberland is finished."
Twin skippers Simon and Simon have fought bravely to keep moral from plumetting within the CCC team: "it's not easy containing a highly charged bunch of dedicated pros from defecting to synchronised swimming" said one Simon recently.
Ace stats man Prof G.Tomlinson has scoured the books and surprised no one when he declared: "since records began in 1876 we have never had so many e-mails with the heading - Match Off".
A very bad omen - Ducks have been spotted on Treasurer Roger French's lawn. But nowt like the deluge I witnessed at Upper Poppleton back in '76, when we played underwater and secured a winning draw. The light was pretty bad too.
League Secretary Catley has got into the spirit of the weather by allowing opposing sides to claim victory just by turning up to flooded grounds. CCC tried this by sending Rian to claim victory at Backworth; sadly the unfortunate all rounder went via Carlisle and never actually arrived until nightfall - and just missed the Backworth curfew. He is now taking lessons from crack pros Kirkwood.
Thankfully June has passed and July brings the promise of, well, more rain. This weekend's cancelled game against flat-landers Bretton, is the second touring side to visit the TOON this summer. Both only had one word to say... Bugger!
cs '07
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