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In a decision described as "controversial", CCC's match last night was postponed because of a little known meteorological phenomenon known as 'Almost Perfect Conditions', it has been revealed. This type of weather, which is becoming increasingly common in Northern Hemisphere summertime, manifests itself in the form of 20 degree (plus) temperatures, warm sunshine, and firm ground "giving help to both batsman and bowler".
SUNBATHING
There has been concern this season that several games have been postponed due to this weather condition, with the result that there is now a backlog of fixtures. "I had to spend the rest of the evening sunbathing in my garden when I could have been playing cricket", commented one disgruntled player.
BLEAK
One local groundsman had this to say about 'Almost Perfect Conditions': "In this day and age it just isn't worth the risk of playing cricket unless conditions reach 'Absolute Perfection', that is 25 degrees, cloudless skies, and no rain anywhere in the hemisphere for at least 5 days prior to the match". With there having been several isolated showers in various North Sea regions, and even in parts of mainland Europe this week, the outlook for Wednesday's game was always bleak.
RE-LOCATION
It has been suggested that to cope with the fixture backlog caused by 'Almost Perfect Conditions', the league committee is looking into relocating the North-East Midweek Cricket League to North or Central Africa: "We were thinking of Morocco, or perhaps Liberia," said a league spokesman, "We are currently in negotiations with BA Newcastle to arrange cheap charter flights to somewhere hot."
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