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The British Isles has experienced its most ironic summer weather-wise since records began, it was revealed at a press conference lunch time, Monday.
Temperatures have soared well into the 20s in many parts and have stayed consistently high, leading to experts describing it as the hottest summer since 1995. However, this good weather has been combined with strategic inclemencies aimed directly and vindictively at Computing Cricket Club. "Wednesdays have been shit," said club secretary Cliff Spencer. "Except this coming Wednesday, which is going to be specially nice because we haven't got a game."
The weather has targeted CCC so unsubtly that as of the first week of August, whilst many UK residents raided chemists across the country for sunburn treatment, the team had only played 8 of their 14 matches. "It's been totally brutal, man," said former captain Gerry Tomlinson. "The boys have been, like, kicking their heels."
The rough treatment of CCC by the weather has been labelled a disgrace by players and officials alike. "It's really not on," claimed one groundsman who did not wish to be named, "the weather has been a complete git, especially on Wednesdays, and now they're all blaming me." Meteorology experts were more prosaic: "this has been the most ironic summer since records began, " said one. "It's been hot, hot, hot, except on Wednesdays, and even when Wednesdays have been nice, CCC have been hit by cancellations for other reasons, like fixture cock ups. That's ironic that is."
A further irony is that when CCC have taken to the field they have often been rubbish.
The bad weather on Wednesdays has been blamed on rain.
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