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A local cricket team stands accused tonight of 'dumbing down' its performances. A leaked memo reveals that the team, Computing Cricket Club, had performed 'sensationally' on Tuesday night, but within 24 hours had put in another performance described as 'absolute toss'.
CCC officials were quick to deny the claims. "Obviously the performance on Wednesday was disappointing. The lads are completely gutted," said vice captain Roger French, "but overall I think you'll find our performances are improving in the medium to long term, if you extrapolate the trends fully from a more realistic base." Skipper Simon Edwards agreed: "I'm not quite sure what he's on about, but it sounds convincing enough for me," he said.
The fact cannot be denied, however, that within a short time period CCC's performance has declined dramatically. Following the 3 wicket win against Fenham, they lost by 7 wickets to Genetics with 5 overs to spare. Market analysts claim that this makes a lottery of the league system: "Genetics are now promoted," said one, "yet amazingly CCC may also clinch promotion. This sort of performance is dumbing down and it renders the league system meaningless."
However,French's argument becomes compelling if the long term statistics are to be believed. "Back in 1873," he remembers, "we lost 50-odd matches on the trot. We've definitely improved overall since then. We do at least win some games now." "We will be endeavouring to raise our standards for our next match, against Civil Service," said club secretary Cliff Spencer. "Two more veg kormas please," he added, clicking his fingers.
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