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ALL ROUNDER REPLICANT TO SPEARHEAD 3RD DIVISION CAMPAIGN
Newly promoted Genetics hope to have cloned former England all rounder Ian Botham in time for next season. The ambitious project is part of a ten year plan to make Genetics “invincible” and capable of “liquidating all who oppose”– a plan that involves recreating the entire 1979 Somerset team and placing it in a 21st century midweek context.
“Ian Botham is the man around whom the rest of the team will be developed,” claimed Genetics spokesman Dave Strangelove at a press conference this lunchtime. “He will complement our existing squad very nicely, bolstering the middle order, and adding a bit of variety to the bowling attack. We also expect him to be a good laugh down the pub.”
Development of further members of Somerset’s finest ever side will continue thereafter with approximately two new players a year until 2010. “We hope to have a fully functional Colin Dredge for 2005,” continued Strangelove. “By 2010 we’ll be the best team in the North East Mid-Week League. We’ll be unbeatable,” he raved, descending rapidly into uncontrollable fits of manic laughter.
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