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A SPECIAL REPORT FOR TONIGHT WITH TREVOR MACDONALD
It seemed like any other normal mid week evening on the rain spattered streets of Newcastle’s student suburb of Heaton. Young couples promenading past the Edwardian town houses. Youths skateboarding over carelessly parked cars. Suppliers of chemical stimulants exchanging quips with their customers on street corners. Then we saw them. A gang of about 10 middle aged men "hanging tough" outside an Indian restaurant, their slightly raised, partially inebriated voices piercing the night air...
I’ve filed reports from many of the world’s troublespots: Baghdad, Belfast, Blyth... But, the atmosphere here was intimidating. All I could hear was talk of "smashing boundaries", "annihilating the opposition" and mysterious talk of an enigmatic "Man With Many Nicknames". This is the voice of insurrection, of disillusioned middle aged professionals seeking new kicks – perhaps even a new political agenda to impose upon decent society. It wasn’t just the aggressive hyperbole, but also the physical appearance of these rebels for whom society apparently doesn’t cater: a disturbing morass of side-partings, denim jeans, draylon jackets and faded tee shirts. These are the clothes of insurrection.
Meanwhile normal citizens fear for their safety. One local resident who refused to be named for fear of being "recruited on the playing side" commented: "these people, every summer, they hang out near the curry house and the cricket ground and the local pub. They drink our drinks, they eat our food, they pollute our air with their foul rhetoric. It’s time the government acted."
But the government claims it is powerless to act: "Britain is a free democratic country," said David Blunkett. "Unless these people commit a crime we cannot do anything. There is nothing criminal about standing talking with your hands in your pocket. The Man with Many Nicknames is known to us, but he has committed no crime." Local politicians and police are acting, however. "We are looking into the possibility of a curfew for middle-aged male professionals after 7pm," said a police spokesman. "That way the streets can be reclaimed by old people and charvers and us. That would make our job much more fun."
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