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There was excitement and expectation outside ECB headquarters today as the full magnitude of the new television deal with BSkyB began to sink in. The four-year contract means there will be no live coverage of England's home test matches on terrestrial screens for the first time since 1938.
The new deal will enable:
*Increased wages for players and county executives
*Disenfranchisement of at least one third of test cricket’s regular test cricket audience (the over 60s)
*Decreased test match television audiences of around 75%
*A one horse bidding race in 2009 where BSkyB will be able to extend their rights for a ‘nominal’ sum of money
* Continued expansion of Rupert Murdoch’s global domination of rightwing media and sporting rights towards monopoly proportions
A spokesman for the ECB’s marketing committee admitted that had the terrestrial bids been accepted cuts would have had to be made across all areas of the game.
"We’ve now been able to postpone these cuts for 4 years", the spokesman reveals. "In the meantime we’ll be able to spend more money on players’ wages, and perks for county directors, whilst at the same time overseeing a decline in television audiences for test matches of approximately 75%."
The spokesman revealed the circumstances of the record bid being presented to the ECB. "We were wandering around a rural backwater in Zimbabwe a few weeks back. It was just myself and David (Morgan). I remember there were some smouldering crops in the field and a few starving children. But then we caught sight of this dapper gentleman standing at the crossroads waving a huge cheque..." Morgan approached the gentleman, who, speaking in an Australian accent, "offered us untold wealth if we sold our television rights, our souls and our dignity. It was an offer we couldn’t refuse."
Despite criticism being levelled at the ECB for what many people believe is ‘selling out’, the spokesman is unrepentant. "People will say that cricket audiences will decline because the people who watch Sky don’t watch it for cricket. Well, that's true, but these people must be aware that this deal will help us re-establish cricket as an old boys’ club for chinless posh twats. There was a severe danger of the middle and even lower classes becoming interested in the game."
There is a technical possibility of test cricket one day returning to a free-to-air station, however, it is expected to remain with Sky forever. When the current deal expires, terrestrial TV companies are unlikely to bid as they never made any money out of cricket and it disrupted the schedules. BSkyB will then be able to bid for a minimum amount and effectively hold the ECB to ransom.
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