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NOBEL PRIZE LIKELY
By your Science Correspondent
Following months of secretive and frantic research, scientists have finally discovered a use for Sussex and England cricketer Matt Prior. The excited announcement was made in a press release by the ECB on 6th April 2006 at 09:00 BST and immediately syndicated worldwide:
“A team of dedicated scientists, working on behalf of the England cricket team, have been toiling away in secretive research for several months to address the dilemma of what to do with Matt Prior”, stated the ECB press release. “We think they’ve finally stumbled across the solution almost by accident.”
It appears that Prior, a qualified wicket-keeper, can replace Geraint Jones behind the stumps during the Indian innings of the fourth one-day international in Cochin, the Welshman having sustained a thigh injury in an unusually long stay at the crease during England’s innings.
An ECB spokesman added that it was unfortunate for Jones: “He’s just not accustomed to spending so much time in the middle. Usually he misses a straight one or plays a lazy nothing shot within a couple of overs of going out to bat. This time he made the mistake of staying in too long”.
The delight of the ECB's research team has spread further, to the scientific research community as a whole, where the achievement in finding the solution to the Prior problem has been likened to solving Fermat’s Theorem. “We’re going to move on to the equivalent of splitting the atom now,” says the ECB’s bouyant Chief Scientist. “That is, how the hell do we pick a team that can do anything in the World Cup”.
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