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LANCS SEEK SUN, SAND AND SUS-SEX

QUEST FOR TITLE COULD SEE MOVE SOUTH

Lancashire CCC has reacted to its failure to win it first County Championship in 70 years by revealing a plan to relocate away from Old Trafford a- and indeed Lancashire.

“We’ve talked abaht this before,” admits Secretary Jim Cumbes. “Originally we was lookin’ at mowvin’ away from Owld Trafford to a new sowper stadium in Wigan. Now we’re looking for summats a bit further away.”

The intent to move will comes as a body blow to many of the Old Trafford faithful, but Cumbes is adamant. “If we want to win the title again we are going to have to mowve. We’ve lost 1000 owvers to the rayan this season. That ‘andicaps are challenge.”

A franchise style move to the south coast has been mooted. “Lancashire is a grayat brand with a lot of ‘istory and I think an ‘ick county like, say, Cornwall would be only too ‘appy to receive us. We’re thinking of a nyow stadium in Nyowquay or summ’ere. It’s always sunny dowan there. It’d be like Brooklyn Dodgers mowvin’ to the West Cowst”.

Will the recent weather problems hitting Lancashire at the Rose Bowl – one of the most southerly and sun-drenched county grounds in England at present – change his opinion? “I moost say it’s mekkin' us think. P’raps we should be looking at tekkin’ Lancashire cricket to Gibraltar. Further away from Yorkshire the better! Watch this spayace, as th’ say.”